Debi

anyway about my trip to quibec i am going to right from my heart, so here goes…..

I was a very shy , troubled ( still am somewhat) about the things in my life fom my past i learned to understand my past a bit more ,, or should i say i learned to let it go and understand that there is nothing i can do about it,,that i am not to blame for the fighting that went on and the drinking and the other stuff were othere peoples problems and i am an individuall.
i learned that other poeple in this world no matter where they come from have problems too its not just in my head witch by the way has helped me dramatically in the relationship i am in ,,,witch is still ~~hot as ever~~ hope your doing well too by the way!!!! but it has helped me to be and say the person i have to and want to be or my new love is just a saint and is really the sweet wonderfull understaning guy i think he is/
no really ican tell him now when i am insecure about loosing him i can tell him i think thaughts that are crazy sometimes . or anything else , really for the first time in my life i am so increddibly in love with someone, that feels the same way he loves it when i tell him my fears or that i say things that i would never tell anyone that i feel cause i think im strange for feelong those thaughts we both know that we are feeling the fears and insecurrities because we are both so glad to have each other we fear we are going to loose the other … you know what i mean???? of course you doo…..
i learned that you put a bunch of people in one place and love can heal the worst of pains…the caring from anothers heart will ease the pain of most everything knowing someone cares.
i learned that we have to slow down in life and only take care of the important things first ,thats us…..i left alot behind when i walked out of my marriege but right now i wouldnt give up the moments i have with my new guy i dont know what i would do if i could lay in his arms at night he tries so hard to love and understand me …
i learned that if there is something in this life you long to do , do it your heart longs for things for a reason ,,,,your soul knows what it needs . i needed that vacation with all the poeple i met there i learned to tell myself that everything is ok even if it feels like my world is falling apart , you know my boyfriend is a very simple farmer hes never been anywhere he has no money per-say hes not rich anyway all hes ever done is farm from sun up to sundown he has the most relaxed attitude , i love it he dont worry about anything till its on the doorstep, hes teaching me the same way …hes right in alot of ways we are looking into getting pregnant my doc says its allright i have maid an appt for the genetic counciling if everything goes right i`ll be pregnant by march…..so that will be our x-mas present next year …saves on shopping for him anyway ,,,,,i learned alot up there mostly about loving ourselves and it sounds selfish but if you think about it ,, it starts with us if we dont make ourselves happy first we cant beggin to serve another..and like my boyfriend says why worry till its here. i learned to live today there may not be a tommarrow i try now to spend more time with people than cleaning or worrying about things that need to get done i have watched more movies with my boyfriend since september than i probably have in my life we love to lay and hold each other…..
i learned also that we dont all have to look like the models on t.v or be smart or allways be the life of the room we have so much more to offer if we just be ourselves ,no one else can take that and use it right????????? we are we! anyway i still want to get that book you were talking about you know the first one you said you wrote about love?????????let me know how i can get it ….also my new name is DEBORAH WOOLRIDGE i went back to my maiden name thinking i will have better luck starting over… anyway you take care god bless have a wonerfull christmas if we dont talk soon we have a wonderfull new years planned hope you do too …………lots of love Debi