“I’ll give you $500 if you let me have access to that unused cabin” he stated with a sly grin.
“No deal” I stated with an equally sly grin.
“Come on doc, my wife and I have been together for many years and I have never wanted her more” he said with enthusiasm. “I know you asked us to commit to celibacy this weekend at spiritual couples retreat but ……. Come on …….. How was I to know clearing away all this shit between us was going to create THIS OUTCOME!”
I shook my head no, smiled and reassured him that the extra time “waiting” was going to be worth it. As he walked away I noticed his wife appear from around the corner of one of the buildings and overheard her ask “well what did he say?” The glare I got from her as he shook his head and mumbled “he wouldn’t budge on the whole integrity thing” was enough to take the smile off my face. I guess his request was not a one sided request as I had assumed 🙂
So why is that “removing the shit” between a couple has this sort of impact? Why does the libido commonly get fired up into warp speed at our couples retreat?
To answer this question we have to go back and review some of the foundational premises that we work under at retreat.
- LOVE IS MULTIDIMENSIONAL AND CONSISTS OF AGAPE, PHILO, EROS, STORGE
- THE 4 DIMENSIONS OF “LOVE” ARE INTERCONNECTED
- IF THERE IS A BLOCK OR INTERFERENCE IN THE EXPRESSION OF ONE DIMENSION IT RIPPLES INTO AND AFFECTS ALL OTHER DIMENSIONS.
- THAT BLOCK WILL STAY PRESENT UNTIL THE SITUATION OR CIRCUMSTANCE THAT CREATED IT IS RESOLVED
Every couple we have ever had attend our spiritual couples retreat have had some blocks to the authentic expression of their love in some form or other. That does not mean their relationship is in jeopardy because we have as many couples attend that are in a good place but want to optimize their relationship as those that feel broken. Regardless of the quality of the relationship the impact of hurts, fears, guilts and traumas within the relationship are the same. A block to the overall expression of love, including eros or sexual love, in the relationship.
We commonly refer to these blocks as ESOL’s. This acronym stands for Energetic Space Occupying Lesions and is a play on the physiological concept of Space Occupying Lesions. Space occupying lesions are commonly tumours in the physiology of the body that take up space in the organ or cell mass and cause significant complications in cell or organ function and in severe cases, even death. ESOL’s are the energetic cousins of these as they take up space on the energetic system of the body, particularly the mind and the heart.
In the energetic dynamics of an intimate relationship there is ample opportunity to create ESOL’s. Now these ESOL’s provide a tremendous purpose in the relationship but if left there unattended and unresolved it will block the expression of love, intimacy, passion and fulfillment in the relationship.
That is why when you release these blocks the impact is predictable and profound. The energy stored in the ESOL is potential energy and once the block is released the energy becomes moving or kinetic energy and it radiates throughout all of the dimensions of the love between the couple.
Storge …….. affectionate love…….. increases and couples speak gentler and touch each other more. The philo or friendship love increases as does the agape or “seeking their highest good” love and partners commonly do things like compliment their partners both in front of their partner and behind their back. And as you would expect, the eros or passionate and erotic love expands and couples can hardly wait to get behind closed doors and rip each others clothes off.
If you want to increase the probability of more and better sex in your life, why not consider joining us at our spiritual couples retreat in Ontario and defining and clearing the ESOL’s that are limiting you and your partner from experiencing spiritual sex and the love and intimacy you deserve. Click below to learn more